My Dream Occupation

When I was younger, I had a dream of becoming an actress. I wanted to be on stage with the spotlight glaring on me, indicating what a star I could be. I was interested in this especially after my dear beloved parents brought me to watch a play at our famous theatre stage that is located in the heart of Kuala Lumpur. The day I saw a beautiful and stunning actress standing on the stage acting her heart out was the day I, Helinna pursued of becoming an actress even though I was only a girl at such tender age. It made me want to go beyond my capabilities and who knows, I might even be in Broadway by the time I graduated from high school! Nothing is impossible when I see it from my point of view. I may not be a good actress but one shall learn to anticipate their dream. So what if I may be a lousy actress at first? Doesn't everyone learn to become something they want to be? Of course, that is the true question that we all should think about. Sure, there are prodigies in the world who are naturally brilliant in a way that they are gifted. But as for a normal human being, being good in something must be obtained by going through the process of practicing and learning. That is one thing that we must not escape from because learning is an important process in life. And when something goes wrong, we must go on finding ways to fix it using knowledge that we have learned before in life. That is why I believed that this dream of mine could be pursued only if I am sincere and honor in achieving it. If I am not, then my heart and mind would be the one suffering compared to any other organs of mine. Therefore, I choose to endure a period of time feeling the hardship and then flourish my success rather than living my life as a person who's heart and mind is not in her occupation dream.

My dream changed after that. It was predictable because I was very young. There was still a lot of thinking to do in order to decide where your life is going to. Besides that, a little girl still does not have a mature thinking and hence, they cannot decide on big things that easily. Soon, my late grandmother started questioning me about what I wanted to be. Everyday she would go on, opening the topic even as I was playing with my toys. She made a decision for me to be a lawyer. I would always repeat the word lawyer over and over again whenever that question was brought out to me. I was at first clueless about why she was always asking me about this question but then I finally realized that she just wanted the best for me. Sometimes, I find that this topic about what I want to be was the bonding between my late grandmother and I.

When I was in primary school, I thought about various other dreams that I may be interested in. I had thoughts of being a doctor, teacher, ballerina, singer and so many other more that it sometimes just come across my mind and vanish like ashes. I was still trying to figure out what fit in with myself. It was a tough job! I could still remember the number of times we had to talk about our dreams in front of the classroom or sometimes the teacher would make us do an essay about it. The problem that I faced while pouring out this context about my dream was that I did not have a fixed dream of mine. I always go on wondering what suits me best and by the time class ends, I may have either wrote an essay about what I did not actually dream of being or my book would still had remain blank. Nothing was my cup of tea at that moment. And making me write something that does not come from my heart makes me feel uneasy in a way that I am lying indirectly.

Where I am now, tells me that I am going to have to make a decision soon. High school now plays an important role in my life. Being 16 is about nourishing your interest because that will make your mind set to a point where you want to be someone in life. Moreover, the wide range of subjects that you are learning have been narrowed down letting you discover your inner self. As for me, I am now in the science stream. My major subjects are Physics, Biology, Add Maths, Chemistry and Maths. These are the subjects that I find important as a science stream student. Not only that, I actually do favor all these subjects that we are learning in school. It makes me wonder about the wide knowledge around us and how impressed I am with it. Right this moment, I do know what I love to learn. I love to learn the science subjects and add maths would be my favourite everyday. I do think of becoming a lecturer one day. But again, choosing is one hard thing for me to do. I always tell myself that when I finally finished learning and discovering myself in high school, I will have to decide on this very seriously. It doesn't matter how your dream is as long as you have the charisma, knowledge, interest and humble feeling of pursuing it. It will finally be something worth in your life. And that is when you can put your heart and soul into this thing that you call it as your dream.

Yours truly,

helinna